Sample Help Wanted Ad

Fast, Reliable Landscape Foreman Needed for Corporate Grounds Crew

Excelsior Technical Services Inc., located on the eastern edge of the Sacramento Industrial Park, seeks a full-time, experienced grounds foreman to lead a team of talented groundskeepers.

Candidates should have 2-4 years of managerial experience in groundskeeping. The right candidate will have extensive knowledge of Western-US flowering perennials. Ability to operate a JCB backhoe is a plus. Master Gardener certification is preferred, but not required.

This full-time position runs through the end of year, with an option of renewal pending review. Work hours are 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday. The salary for this position is $36,500.

Founded in 1985, Excelsior Technical Services Inc. is the leading maker of Digital to Audio Converter chips in the Western United States. Our sprawling corporate headquarters is surrounded by walking trails, a fishing pond, and dozens of kinds of flowering perennials.

As a full-time employee, you will qualify for health insurance, dental, vision, and a 401k retirement plan. Excelsior is an equal-opportunity employer.

If you wish to apply, please send a resume and completed employment application to Jane Adams, HR Specialist, at. Please feel free to contact us at 1-800-DAC-3333 if you have questions about the position.

Guide to Finding Jobs Onle

So, where do you find the jobs NOW? Even if you had a successful job search 2 years ago, dont assume that what worked then will work now.

Technology is rapidly changing — used a pay phone, a BlackBerry, or a paper map recently? Those changes have a very big impact on how recruiters recruit. And, changes in recruiting dramatically change effective job search strategies.

[MORE:5 Ways to Land Your New Job FasterandBe Easy to Hire.]

Today, it is very easy to get overwhelmed with options when you are searching online for a new job.

To avoid wasting your valuable time and energy searching for job postings, start here:

Choose a target job and target employers where you would like to work, and focus your efforts on that job and those employers. Without presenting a clear message of who you are, what you have accomplished, and how you can help an employer, your applications will be ignored.

Unfocused job seekers apply for anything and everything. Consequently, they train employers, resume databases, and applicant tracking systems to ignore them.

you focus on a particular kind of job and a group of target employers.

If you dont know the job you want, you will have amuchmore challenging job search. The reason? Being unfocused means you wont be using the best keywords for you and your next job. No keywords today means limitied opportunities and greater invisibility.

Read9 Steps to a Shorter Job SearchandSuccessful Elevator Pitch in 7 Stepsfrom .

Fewer than 20% of jobs are filled by someone responding to a job posting, although many job seekers focus all of their efforts on applying for every job posting they find.

to describe people who apply for every job they find.

Resume spammers are blocked and ignored.Dont be one!

Because of the very large number of applications usually submitted by unqualified applicants in response to most posted jobs, job postings are NOT employers favorite way to fill jobs now — too many resume spammers.

Employers favorite way to fill jobs today is next.

Read Job-HuntsWhy Resumes Dont Get Read (and What You Can Do About It)andNew Requirements for Resume Successfor more details.

Being find-able online is essential today for two very important reasons:

Because of resume spammers, searching for qualified job candidates is an employers favorite way to fill jobs. Called sourcing it is also often the quickest way to identify good candidates.

When you know what you want to do next, preferably with a list of 10 to 100 target employers, you will be able to focus your online visibility on the right keywords in the right places.

The professional version of your name you use for your job search and career (on your business/networking cards, LinkedIn Profile, resumes, applications, name tags, email etc.).

The qualifications you have for your current and future jobs.

The job titles used by your target employers for the job you want next.

Your current location — or the location where you hope to be working next. This is NOT your address. Its the name of the city and state or region where you live or want to live.

Your education, including degrees, certifications, and other training which is relevant to the job you want next.

YourLinkedIn Profileand other activities on LinkedIn (yourLinkedIn UpdatesandLinkedIn Groupactivities).

Your other social media visibility, like Twitter and Facebook.

Your resume and job applications. If you spend time applying for jobs online, customize the application or resume you submit so it includes the keywords used in the job description that are appropriate for you.

Read Job-HuntsGuide to Personal SEO (Search Engine Optimization)to learn what your best keywords are and where to use them.Check out Job-HuntsGuide to LinkedIn SEOto understand where and how to use your keywords in LinkedIn so your next job finds you.

2. Recruiters will be able to verify the facts on your resume or application and to get a sense of your fit with their organization.

Without appropriate online visibility, you are effectively invisible. And that makes your job search longer and more difficult because…

Recruiters and employers are generally suspicious of invisible people, assuming that the invisibility is because the person is out-of-date (no understanding of how to use the Internet for business) or has something to hide.

of those assumptions will help your job search succeed.

Research has shown that more than 80% of employers and recruiters search the Internet to learn more about you before seriously considering you for a job or inviting you in to an interview. If they cant find you, you are usually not considered for their jobs.

ReadGet Sourced to Get Hired, and Job-HuntsGuide to Personal Online Reputation Managementfor more details.

Assuming that you know what you want to do and where you want to do it, youll find millions of jobs posted online. Start with 1, and go through the whole list. Some will work better for you than others, but dont spend more than 20% of your valuable time completing online job applications:

No one wants to read this advice, but networking is the quickest way to a new job.

Networking doesnt mean attending events in big rooms full of strangers! Networking means staying in touch with people you know, and meeting new people. Ive seen people connect with new jobs at a funeral, and they also connect at football games or over coffee with friends.

You are five (5) times more likely to be hired if you have been referred by an employee than if you apply without knowing anyone.

Employers really prefer to hire someone known to a current employee than a complete stranger off the street.

Connecting with people at your target employers or choosing to work for an employer because you already have friends or family who work there is the most effective method of landing a new job.

[Related:Shortcut to a New Job: Tap an Insider.]

Developing a list of target employers is the foundation of a successful job search today. This section helps you find employers that meet your criteria and then leverage the information on their websites, social media (like LinkedIn), and search engines to connect with their jobs.

Check out the employers sites so you are familiar with what they do (products, services, senior management, locations, etc.), and use that information you collect in your interactions with the employer. You will be more effective in social media, your applications, and your job interviews when you have researched your target employers thoroughly.

LinkedIn is currently the most powerful and effective professional social network. LinkedIn also has job postings (see the jobs link below the search bar at the top of every page). Also check out the Jobs tab in LinkedIn Groups (you can join up to 100), and the company profile pages for your target employers.

LinkedIn is one of the best online venues for connecting with people who work at your target employers (and who workedthere in the past). Use it to vet the employer, too. You can also find job postings and employer/company pages which provide you with information about the company as well as how you might be connected to current employees.

Use LinkedIn to connect with people who attended the same schools you have attended, even if you didnt attend the schools at the same time. Alumni networks can be very powerful. Search for people working at your target employers who attended the same school you attended — thats a starting point for expanding your network.

[MORE:How to Be Found by Recruiters on LinkedInwritten by recruiter Jeff Lipschultz and Job-Hunts freeGuide to Using LinkedIn for Job Search.]

Social media is a powerful way to connect with a job. Unfortunately, not done well or done without concern for your online repuation, social media can ruin opportunities for you, too. But, ignoring social media, particularly LinkedIn, is not optional for most professions and locations.

In addition to LinkedIn, job postings are available through both Facebook and Twitter. Many employers have Facebook pages for both marketing and, often, also for recruiting. Employers are increasingly posting jobs on Facebook.

In Twitter, follow your target employers Twitter accounts for news and look for a Twitter account for jobs, too.

See Job-HuntsGuide to Using Facebook for Job SearchandGuide to Using Twitter for Job Searchfor more information.

[MORE:Guide to Online Reputation Management.]

Recruiters are the traffic cops in the process of hiring people. They can help or hurt you, and several different kinds of recruiters exist. The important thing to remember is that recruiters work for employers, not for job seekers. [Related:Working with Recruiters]

Job boards are still very popular, but, as employers have increased their recruiting on their own websites and as the aggregators have made those jobs more visible, the general job boards are perhaps not as effective as they once were. Look for niche boards like m (for IT) and (for nonprofits).

Be careful to avoid the imitation/scam job boards that exist to collect your personal information but offer you no benefit. [Related:Guide to Avoiding Online Job Scams]

Online classified ads, particularly on sites like Craigslist.org, can be very effective for job search because they are very low cost to use, and free in many locations. That low cost attracts small employers who cant easily post jobs on their own websites. But, do be cautious! Because the price of posting is very low or nonexistent, scams are posted. [Related:Using Craigslist to Find a Job]

Associations and school alumni groups are very effective for networking, and often their websites have job postings for members. If you have worked for an employer in the past, look for an alumni group for that employer.

Youll find many ways to connect with other alumni — both school and corporate — in LinkedIn Groups. [Related:How to Engage More Recruiters and Employers with LinkedIn Groups.]

Google has many hidden talents plus excellent tools for finding job postings as well as helping you with your job search in many other ways.

[More:Guide to Company Research, and how to be found online>

Guide to Personal SEO (Search Engine Optimization).]

This is a list of the top sources of job postings online, roughly in order of the number of job postings available. Do remember the job postings may not be your quickest way to a new job.

If you want to work at the local mall or in the local McDonalds restaurant, go to that business and ask for an employment application to complete. Dress nicely, be polite, and complete the form neatly and legibly, and youll probably end up with at least an interview the next time there is a job opening.

When you are looking at job postings, be sure to keep in mind that many scams are published on all job posting sources. So, you need to be relatively cautious and skeptical about applying for jobs you find online.Read9 Characteristics of a Job Scamfor moreinformation.

If you currently have a job, be sure to keep a low profile for your job search so you dont get fired (YES, theycanfire you for job hunting in the USA!). Check Job-HuntsGuide to Stealth Job Search.

Remember – no matter what Website you are visiting, even one listed in Job-Hunt, be sure toprotect your privacy, watch out forscams, and avoid theDirty Dozen Online Job Search Mistakesas well as theDirty Dozen Dangerous Assumptions!

Know what works NOW for your job search!

No spam, and you canunsubscribeany time. See ourPrivacy Policy.

Online job search expert Susan P. Joycehas been observing the online job search world and teaching online job search skills since 1995. A veteran of the United States Marine Corps and a recent Visiting Scholar at the MIT Sloan School of Management, Susan is a two-time layoff graduate who has worked in human resources at Harvard University and in a compensation consulting firm. Since 1998, Susan has been editor and publisher of . Follow Susan on Twitter cebookLinkedIn, andGoogle+.

Recruiters, Staffing Firms, & Head Hunters

Guide to Personal SEO- Finding and Smartly Leveraging Your Best Keywords

Guide to LinkedIn SEO- Being Found on LinkedIn

Guide to Personal Online Reputation Management

Avoiding the Hazards of Online Job Search

Being Smart About Choosing a Job Board

Being Smart About Using a Job Board

Avoiding the Job Scams and Scam Jobs

How to Protect Your Privacy while Job Hunting Online

Conducting a Stealth Job Search- Safely Finding a Job While Employed

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Classifieds

Nice people to help nice people find fabulous, beautiful jewelry for happy occasions. Responsibilities include: -Providing a great customer experience -Service minded -Honest -Communication skills -Self starter -Fun, friendly, fast-paced environment -Willing to learn product knowledge– …

Nice people to help nice people find fabulous, beautiful jewelry for happy occasions. Responsibilities include: -Providing a great customer experience -Service minded -Honest -Communication skills -Self starter -Fun, friendly, fast-paced environment -Willing to learn product knowledge– We train! Apply in person or send your resume to spiritla

Premier Listing(Help Wanted)Marketing AssistantPremier Listing(Help Wanted)Report

Do you do social media in your sleep? Do you love everything that sparkles? Have experience in graphic design and website management? Stop what you are doing and send your resume and cover letter to spiritla

Premier Listing(Help Wanted)DriverPremier Listing(Help Wanted)Report

I am looking to hire 0ne or two part time drivers for United States Postal Service contract routes out of the Spencer, Iowa Post Office. A class A CDL or ability to acquire one is preferred but willing to look at applicants without. You must also pass a USPS background check. Compensation is $17….More InfoMore Info

I am looking to hire 0ne or two part time drivers for United States Postal Service contract routes out of the Spencer, Iowa Post Office. A class A CDL or ability to acquire one is preferred but willing to look at applicants without. You must also pass a USPS background check. Compensation is $17.30-$19.10 per hour plus benefits. Also depending on your current hours worked the right person may be able to work this in with their current full or part time job. For more details and to request an application packet please call and ask for Fred.

Submitted on: May 10(Updated on: May 14)

Premier Listing(Help Wanted)Receptionist/Hospitality AssociatePremier Listing(Help Wanted)Report

Mau Marine is now hiring a showroom receptionist/hospitality associate. Ideal applicants possess a sunny disposition and have experience providing outstanding customer service. Duties include greeting and directing customers, answering a multi-line phone system, managing the customer lounge, as w…More InfoMore Info

Mau Marine is now hiring a showroom receptionist/hospitality associate. Ideal applicants possess a sunny disposition and have experience providing outstanding customer service. Duties include greeting and directing customers, answering a multi-line phone system, managing the customer lounge, as well as providing additional sales and marketing support.

Premier Listing(Help Wanted)Help Wanted – Learn a Skilled TradePremier Listing(Help Wanted)Report

Lake Park Area. We are Family Owned & Operated Flooring Installation Business. We install all types of flooring, custom showers, and backsplashes. Experience is helpful but willing to train. Minimum construction background helpful. Must follow directions and be able to handle change of task wi…More InfoMore Info

Lake Park Area. We are Family Owned & Operated Flooring Installation Business. We install all types of flooring, custom showers, and backsplashes. Experience is helpful but willing to train. Minimum construction background helpful. Must follow directions and be able to handle change of task with ease. Must have proof of Valid Drivers License and References. Check us out at Sitzmann Family Flooring on Facebook.

Premier Listing(Help Wanted)Driver – FedEx – Consistent RoutePremier Listing(Help Wanted)Report

Job Description Are you the type that has a strong background in driving truck? Class A CDL? One year minimal driving experience? Looking for a steady, consistent, routine route? Prides ones self on being safety conscience and making a difference through the work you do? If you…More InfoMore Info

Job Description Are you the type that has a strong background in driving truck? Class A CDL? One year minimal driving experience? Looking for a steady, consistent, routine route? Prides ones self on being safety conscience and making a difference through the work you do? If you are answering YES to most this list, this is a great opportunity to look into. Nice equipment, easy route, consistent routine hours each week. Safety bonus for safe driving after 1 year of service. Consistent, steady, secure and repeated route. Call to discuss further.. 7123636333

Price:Annual income up to $60K w. Benefits

(Help Wanted)Daily Task Helper Wanted(Help Wanted)Report

Looking for someone who would be able to help an elderly woman part-time during the day. Medical knowledge is not required, just looking for help with daily tasks.

(Help Wanted)Grounds Maintenance(Help Wanted)Report

Smiths RV is hiring a grounds keeper. Position will include mowing and trimming and varies other duties. Flexible hours. Dependability is a must. Stop by the office to pick up an application 1000 Lake Shore Drive Okoboji, IA 51355

(Help Wanted)Line Cooks(Help Wanted)Report

The line cook position could be FT or PT. Wage starts at $13.00 per hour. Nights & weekends are required.

(Help Wanted)Kitchen Manager(Help Wanted)Report

This is a FT, year round, entry level management role with oversight of the kitchen operations. It is a salaried role. Candidate must have a flexible work schedule & weekend availability will be required.

(Help Wanted)Banquet Bartender(Help Wanted)Report

This positions is PT, with a very flexible schedule. Bartenders are needed mostly nights through the summer. Great way to earn extra cash!

(Help Wanted)Catering Coordinator(Help Wanted)Report

This position is a FT, year round, management position. The candidate will provide leadership & direction to the banquet staff. Duties also include overseeing the set up of the event space, working events & directing the staff.

(Help Wanted)Home Health Aide-CNA(Help Wanted)Report

Full Time.No weekends/No Holidays. Benefits. Looking for dependable CNA. Experience required.Helps w/ dressing and undressing,bathing , toileting,meals,assists w/ transferring,repositioning & walking. Medication reminders, reports care. Light cleaning. Apply at good-sam . com Spirit Lake location.

(Help Wanted)Cook at United Methodist Camp(Help Wanted)Report

Lake Okoboji United Methodist Camp in Spirit Lake, Iowa is hiring Part-Time Cooks. For this summer, help is needed with Breakfast and Lunch meals. Currently need summer help, some hours available the rest of the year as well. Interested applicants should contact Derek Bergman, Site Director

(Help Wanted)Help Wanted CNA/Caregivers!(Help Wanted)Report

We are seeking caring, reliable, compassionate caregivers. We help with a wide range of activities including companionship, meal preparation, activities of daily living, housekeeping, laundry, medication reminders, errands, shopping, as well as escort to and from appointments and events.

(Help Wanted)Help Wanted RN/LPN!!(Help Wanted)Report

Stay in Home Care, Inc. is seeking caring, reliable & compassionate nurses. We provide services to clients in Nursing Home Facilities around the area. Duties include charge nurse, medication pass, assessments. Apply at

(Help Wanted)Saturday Housekeepers $12(Help Wanted)Report

Saturday Housekeepers Needed. $12/Hour. West Oaks Resort. Located next to the Central Emporium. Arnolds Park, IA. Apply in person Mon, Wed or Fri 9AM-1PM.

(Help Wanted)Sales Conultants Wanted!(Help Wanted)Report

We at Okoboji motor Company are looking consultants that are energetic, self motivated, outgoing personality, and a will to win. We offer copetitive pay plans, 401 k, Medical, Dental, and Vision. Please stop in today for more details.

(Help Wanted)Hot Tub Service Technician(Help Wanted)Report

Utilize many skills as you do different types of hot tub installs and service daily. Flexible Schedule Competitive Benefits Most Weekends Off Training Offered Electrical background is a plus but not required. Full-time Salary- $31,000 to $39,000 /year Part-time Salary- $15,500 to $18,500 /y

(Help Wanted)Concrete Labor(Help Wanted)Report

NOW HIRING! If you have a positive attitude and a strong work ethic, join our team as a concrete laborer! Job includes raking concrete and setting forms at locations within 50 mi. of the Iowa Great Lakes. Starting pay is $15-$16 based on experience w/ the opportunity for OT. APPLY TODAY! EEO/AA

(Help Wanted)Job Opportunity(Help Wanted)Report

Matuska Taxidermy is looking for a hard working person to join our team as a Product Manufacturer. Must have good work ethic, dedicated and can work in a fast paced setting. We offer competitive pay and benefits. Please bring resume to 3735 HWY 71 Spirit Lake.

(Help Wanted)Asst Manager(Help Wanted)Report

Now hiring an Assistant Manager we are looking for a reliable,dependable individual with customer service experience any restaurant individual should apply to join our team . Must be able to work nights and weekends. We are willing to train the right person . For more info please call Krystal

(Help Wanted)Workers Needed(Help Wanted)Report

Landscape company looking for full time, year-round, or seasonal help. We are looking to fill many open positions including maintenance, landscaping, and lawn care. Health care is available. Please call, visit /job-seekers, or stop by our office at 1540 Hudson Ave in Spirit Lake.

(Help Wanted)Help Wanted: Regional Drivers(Help Wanted)Report

Doug Bradley Trucking in Jackson MN is looking for Company and Owner Operators to work out of our Jackson facility. Excellent pay and benefits with Weekends off. Join a company where you dont sit at docks and dispatchers make sure you have a life outside of work. For more information call

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How to Write a Help Wanted Ad

I read job ads all day long — people send them to me, to make me smile or to make me weep or rage around my office breaking things. Heres what I dont understand about job ads:

If youre trying to hire someone to work in your company, you want someone pretty cool, right? You want someone whos smart and flexible and fun and creative. Not only do you need this person to solve big, hairy, expensive business problems, but you have to spend all day around this person, too.

So wouldnt you want, above all, to hire people who have great character — ethics and values and interests and priorities and a great sense of self? Dont you want people who are comfortable in their skin, wholl work together to make a great team and to get amazing things accomplished? Isnt that what every success story weve ever read or heard has been based on — the quality of the people on the team, whether its a winning sports team or a business team or a Broadway musical that sweeps the Tonys? Isnt that what were always talking about — our amazing teams?

How can a company expect to hire rock stars and ninjas when its very first communication to the so-called Talent Community is a hateful boilerplate list of a gazillion requirements that the successful candidate will possess? Do we really think that complex, amazing people come in bundled sets of particular skills and attributes, and that if someone walked into the company today and had all these bullet points in order, that person would necessarily also be the worlds greatest hire by virtue of also being smart and insightful and all the things we need from a person in business?

Can we delude ourselves that it works that way — that the endless list of bullet points will somehow add up, when it walks into our office in human form, to an amazing person who can untangle and solve our trickiest problems and lend his or her great insight and wisdom to our challenges? Can we keep lying to ourselves and our shareholders that way?

Isnt hiring and keeping amazing people pretty much the one thing a successful company cant afford to screw up?

So if Im right about any of that, then why in Gods name would employers run job ads like this one?:

Acme Explosives is actively seeking an experienced Application Architect to join

The candidate must be experienced with web, and server application software

design and development. The candidate will assist in the functional design,

oversight, analysis and development of custom-developed software as well as

integrating XLTS products into a complex and dynamic infrastructure. Duties will

• Provide architecture leadership for ongoing development and improvement of

distributed web/GIS software systems

• Collaborate with team members to design technical architectures and perform

• Develop standards and best practices

• Design, develop, enhance and maintain GIS applications using C, , Web

Services, SQL Server, Visual Studio and object oriented methodologies

• Interface with Enterprise Architecture team members to ensure compliance with

Enterprise Architecture technical guidelines

• Document architecture decisions and results as part of Software Development

• Bachelors degree in Computer Science or similar discipline is required

• 2-5 years of technical experience in application architecture, requirements

definition, business process analysis, or similar disciplines

• 8 yrs hands-on experience in web application development

• 5 yrs hands-on experience developing geospatial applications

• Excellent written and oral communication skills including the ability to

interface with various subject matter experts.

• Previous experience as a development lead or significant development team

• Demonstrated knowledge of GIS software tools

• Demonstrated experience incorporating web services into desktop and web

• Experience with Microsoft development environment, including .Net/C, SQL

Server 2005/2008, Windows Server 2003/2008 (R2), and Visual Studio.

• Experience with Service Oriented Architecture management tools and software

• Ability to create and maintain network infrastructure diagrams

• Experience with SQL Server spatial capabilities

• Experience with OSGeo MapServer development

• Experience designing for virtual configurations

• Experience with Bing Maps web services

• Working knowledge of ArcGIS Desktop

• Ability to determine how business and systems requirements are managed as

components within a Service Oriented Architecture (SOA) framework

• Understanding of scalable deployment options (on-premises, cloud, hosted) for

custom and COTS software applications

• Familiarity with Federal government regulations and policies (SCH 119-4, CRR&-4,

Zircon-Encrusted Tweezer Spec $53X, Appliantology Reg 453-8J)

• Familiarity with Agile development methodologies, such as Scrum

• Familiarity with CodeBeamer or other collaboration tools

The successful candidate is subject to a background investigation by the

States government and must be able to meet the requirements to hold a position

This opportunity is available on my team. If you are interested please feel

Here is a job ad that gives the reader:

NO sense of what the project is about.

NO feel for why a smart person with options should consider this opportunity.

NO warmth or human feeling whatsoever.

NO insight into what challenges or learning were likely to get on the job.

NO confidence that if we apply for this position, well be treated like valued partners and co-collaborators.

Look at how the job ad begins: Acme Explosives is actively seeking… Most job ads start that way: We have an immediate need for… or We are actively seeking. Well, bully for you! As my husband says, You have a need? People in Hell need ice water. Who cares that you have a need? How about if you tell me, the candidate youre trying to hire, why this job is worth my time and energy to pursue? What, in other words, is in it for me?

This job ad isnt unusual — its depressingly typical. The worst part is that the person whos written this ad addresses the very person he or she is trying to hire IN THE THIRD PERSON.

Imagine that youre a marketer, and youre trying to sell Diet Pepsi to consumers. Would you write ads that say The person who will buy a Diet Pepsi will have attributes A, B and C. No! Youd speak to the target buyer directly. Youd say Man! Even though its winter, it sure gets hot in those stuffy offices. Sometimes a Diet Pepsi is just the thing to cool you down and give you that shot of caffeine that keeps you awake during boring staff meetings. Or maybe your boss is more electrifying than most?

Youd speak to the guy you are trying to reach. Thats the purpose of communication, as I understand it. When you write a job ad, youre hoping the the guy youre trying to hire (I use guy as a unisex term) is out there reading your ad. So why would you overtly and gratingly NOT speak to the exact guy youre targeting your ad toward, avoiding direct communication by using the danged third person form? The selected candidate — what? You mean ME, the guy whos reading this ad?

We drive talented people away from our companies with these hateful, bureaucratic job ads that sound like replicant battle drones wrote them.

You know what a job ad like this makes me think of?

It reminds me of the part inThe Silence of the Lambswhere the psycho

guy says to the girl in the hole, It will put lotion on itself, or it will get the hose. The psycho serial killer is trying to terrify and isolate the girl on the way to killing her (she lives, in the movie) and part of how he does that is by talking AT her instead of TO her. Thats what we do in these boilerplate job ads.

Its insanity! And employers complain that their job ads sit out there for months, with no qualified applicants. What a shocker! When we treat people like dirt starting with the very job ads weve written to attract people, we cant expect sharp candidates to come knocking.

Did you ever hear of a massively successful start-up or large company with terrified, wrung-out and browbeaten employees who skulk about in fear and fantasize about working elsewhere? Im betting you havent, because great companies dont hire robots and lemmings. But tons of companies write job ads like the one below, that scream Robots and Lemmings Please Apply! If you have enough mojo to imagine that your next best employer would bother to address you directly in a job ad or market to you or open the kimono one inch to tell you whats going on in the business or otherwise acknowledge your existence as a human being on this planet, youre not the right person for us!

We can do better. We can write friendly jobs using a human voice, the same way wed talk to our friends. Heres an example:

TELL YOUR FRIENDS I LAUNCHED THAT!: PROJECT MANAGER OPPORTUNITY AT ACME

There are all sorts of Project Managers, from people whose focus is the

product-development pipeline and the checklist, to folks who get excited about

the collaboration that a new product launch requires. Here at Acme Explosives, a

family-owned business and the second-largest stick dynamite manufacturer in the

U.S. (still manufacturing all of our products in this country, with no plans to

move) we view Project Management as a 50/50 mix of functional/technical

activities and listening, coaching and problem-solving ones. Our Project

Managers might have PM certification or not, but all of us have wonderful and

horrendous war stories about managing real projects and getting tremendous new

If youre someone who loves to get people excited about their piece in the

complex new-product-launch mix, whos fanatical for schedules and budgets but

can maintain a sense of humor no matter what level of chaos is going on around

you, talk to us about our Product Manager opportunity in our downtown Phoenix

facility. Read about us, our history and our culture at

and write to us at the link on that

page, telling us how your background and passion relate to what were doing, in

300 words or fewer. We promise to acknowledge every inquiry with a personal

response, because we have no robots currently working in our HR department.

At Acme Explosives, we value people for their rich histories and perspectives,

not just for their certifications and degrees and former employer brands or for

the buzzwords on their resumes. We love quirky candidates and believe that our

own only opportunity to win in the marketplace will come by hiring and keeping

the best people in the industry. If thats also your view, please give us a

I know that some fearful HR people will read this imaginary job ad and say Wed be deluged with resumes if we ran that ad, and we wouldnt be able to sort those 300-word essays with our wonderful keyword-searching algorithms.

For starters, if an employer is ever deluged with resumes for any job, that recruiting team has only itself to blame. Good marketing is always targeted. It matters a lot where we run our job ads (if we run them at all; Ill write a story on social marketing recruiting, before long.) If any literate person on your team who understands the job (thats critical) can invest a minute per resume to read the 300-word essays youve requested from each candidate, youll be able to do a first-screen WFC (thats wheat from chaff) split on the resumes without much trouble. Lots of people wont write the essay youve requested, so theyd fall by the wayside immediately. As for the essay assignment, youre going to be way better off getting the job-seekers take on his or her appetite for, perspective on and preparedness for the role through a 300-word paragraph than through any goofy keyword-matching exercise, I guarantee.

The era of soul-crushing, talent-hating job ads and mojo-repelling recruiting systems is coming to a close, and not a moment too soon. If youre in HR or Recruiting or a hiring manager yourself or if you know any of those folks, you can help your employer jump into the much more fun and stimulating arena where organizations go after talented people and snag them. Sorting and sifting and saying No thanks is no way to spend an hour, much less a whole career. Writing zombie job ads is a reasonable pastime for zombies — living humans can do better.

Speaker, writer, soprano and mom; founder, Human Workplace

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